Blog / February 10, 2018

Fun Romance Question: How much does common attraction play into a great marriage?

Video Answer 4 of 7


My mother was one of the classic maternal match-makers. And when I was twenty, my mom found a young woman for me that she thought was perfect wife-material. And, in all honesty, she really was a great girl. But, I just wasn’t attracted to her … ahem … in that way. If my mom hadn’t pressed the issue, I would have never considered the matter. But, since my mom kept asking me why I wasn’t pursuing "Carmen" for a relationship, it forced me to evaluate this odd issue of human attraction. 

At that time I was a new Christian, resolved to live with gusto for my King’s glory. I genuinely wanted to marry whomever God wanted me to marry. I really did. And if He wanted me to marry Carmen, then (gulp), I told Him I was willing. But, if He wanted me to marry Carmen, did He also intend to give me the desire to marry Carmen?

I have been happily married now for over 23 years. And here is what I can say. God does supply the desire to match the specific calling He gives us. He gave me a desire for a young girl named Leslie. I never had that for Carmen, though she was an amazingly precious young woman. And still to this day, it’s amazing, but, I have a desire for Leslie, and I do not have that same desire for any other girl on planet Earth. I find Leslie stunningly beautiful. I really like how God built my wife. Because, the way I see it, He built her with me in mind. And I think He did a really wonderful job!

This particular video answers the question of “common attraction” in a very unique way. I hope you enjoy it and find encouragement and clarity in hearing my answer.

-Eric Ludy

P.S. Don’t forget that our Secrets to an Amazing Love Story online course is available for purchase for a limited time (the last day is February 22nd). It’s a must-have for any age or season of life! Learn More!